Lost in the Forest: A Warriors Fanfic

[darkangel]

This is easily one of my most successful ones...or at least, it's looking to be successful. Please comment...please...I am in desperate need of criticism. It won't break my heart no matter how blunt you are.
I sorta stole some names from some people on here, for example Seraphinu, Magicheart, et cetera...so I'm sorry if you didnt want me to, I suppose I can edit them out. XD
Here it goes.
~~~~~~~
Background info: Yes. This fanfiction is about ThunderClan. The events in this happen long after the reign of Firestar...perhaps, fifty years or so? Twoleg years, of course.
~~~~~~~
Allegiances:
ThunderClan
Leader: Dapplestar: A mottled yellow and orange she-cat with piercing blue eyes
Deputy: Russetfoot- a russet, red tom with amber eyes
Medicine cat: Whiterose- a dainty white she-cat with amber and green eyes. She is one of the only cats of her physique in history to not be deaf.
Apprentice, Dewpaw
Warriors:
Timbermoon- a gray, gruff tabby with a spotted tail and yellow eyes
Apprentice, Ravenpaw
Sootwhisker- A completely black tom with a spot of gray at the tip of his tail, green eyes
Apprentice, Crimsonpaw
Lynxclaw- A completely black tom with flecks of grey on his ears, green eyes
Apprentice, Gingerpaw
Dawnsong: A pale orange she-cat with bright grey eyes
Apprentice, Scarletpaw
Swirlfur- A gray calico she-cat with a pelt that is swirled with white and gray, copper eyes
Cloverpelt- A bright yellow she-cat with green eyes
Apprentice, Ebonypaw
Fernbreeze- A pale gray she-cat with green eyes
Rabbitstripe- A white and gray striped tabby with gray eyes
Twigpelt- a muddy brown colored tabby with yellow eyes
Midnightfur- a dark she-cat with dark, startling blue eyes
Icecloud- a light gray she-cat with sparkling light blue eyes
Arrowpelt- a brown striped tabby with amber eyes
Brightflame- a white she-cat with bright copper eyes
Elders:
Poppynose- a yellow she-cat with golden eyes
Ghostflight- a grey tabby tom with dark eyes
Sandfur- a yellow she-cat with amber eyes
Darkfoot- a black tom with a white tip of his tail
Queens:
Willowtear: a mottled green and brown calico she-cat with amber eyes
Mother of Mottlekit and Mothkit
Honeycloud: a bright yellow she-cat with amber eyes
Pregnant
Apprentices:
Dewpaw: a light gray tabby with blue eyes
Gingerpaw: a bright red she-cat with emerald green eyes
Crimsonpaw: A bright red colored she-cat with amber colored eyes
Scarletpaw: A bright red colored tom with yellow eyes
Ravenpaw: a black tom with mottled brown eyes
Ebonypaw: a black she-cat with creamy grey eyes
Kits:
Mottlekit: A mottled brown and green tabby with brown eyes
Mothkit: A pale grey tom with blue eyes

Ch.1
Gingerpaw grinned as her sister, Crimsonpaw, went head over heels into a bracken bush. Quelling this momentary thought, she knew that bracken could sometimes scratch and padded over to see if she was alright.
"Are you okay?" she mewed hesitantly, peering down into the shallow ditch in which the bracken was growing.
"Yeah, I think I am," Crimsonpaw replied, already clambering back up the ditch and licking the bracken dust off of her.
"Nice little hunting pounce you've got there," Gingerpaw remarked wryly, showing the first signs of a shameless grin.
"Oh shut your muzzle," Crimsonpaw retorted, yet there was a sparkle of mirth in her amber eyes. "Let's see what you've got..."
She trailed off when their mentors padded over from behind an oak tree. "What have you two got in your fur?" Sootwhisker, Crimsonpaw's mentor, meowed crossly. "The clan can't function on an empty belly!"
"Sorry, Sootwhisker," Gingerpaw decided that she should respond to this scolding. "Crimsonpaw fell into bracken and I needed to help her out..."
She realized that she should probably not have phrased what they were doing this way; Crimsonpaw's look at her was venomous. She was already clumsy enough without Gingerpaw telling Sootwhisker about it.
"It doesn't matter, just get back to hunting," still cross, Sootwhisker stalked off, and Gingerpaw's mentor, Lynxclaw, followed. Gingerpaw knew that Lynxclaw wouldn't reprimand her, for it was Crimsonpaw's fault, but she should apologize to Crimsonpaw.
"Sorry, Crimsonpaw," Gingerpaw said dejectedly as they walked as silently as possible down the beaten track towards the Ancient Oak. "That came out wrong. That's not what I meant to say."
Crimsonpaw heaved a sigh. "It's alright. I'm a klutz. It's obvious."
Gingerpaw thought that it would be unwise to push the subject any further; she didn't want to anger Crimsonpaw anymore.
Scenting mouse, she dropped down into the familiar hunter's crouch and crept forward. This would be a great chance to show the clan what her hunting skills were, Crimsonpaw or no Crimsonpaw. She crept forward and pounced.
She emerged with a nice, plump mouse in her jaws. Newleaf really helped their hunting, she noted.
"Great work," her sister said with admiration as she glanced at Gingerpaw's catch. "Let's see what I can get..."
She dropped into an imitation of her sister's hunter crouch and started forward, going after the scent of squirrel near a beech tree. She wended her way along the roots and stiffened, crouching.
She pounced, unsheathing her claws, and killed the furry lump with a quick swipe of the razor sharp talons.
Crimsonpaw leaned forward and brought the squirrel up with her jaws. It was a rather lean catch though, compared to Gingerpaw's.
Gingerpaw sighed internally, but nodded and smiled for her sister. "Great job!" She purred. "You'll be the greatest hunter in the clan soon!"
"No I won't, you're just saying that to make me feel better," Crimsonpaw responded bitterly, spitting the squirrel out with a look of great distaste. "You'll always be the better one!"
"Do I hear bickering amongst the apprentices?" Lynxclaw, the more good-natured of the two apprentices' mentors. "Oh, nice catch, Gingerpaw. Same with you, Crimsonpaw," he added in politely, dipping his head to Crimsonpaw's measly catch.
"Oh, why can't people be HONEST with me for once? I'm not a kit, I won't be offended if you say that the catch was horrible!" Crimsonpaw wailed and ran away. This happened so fast that Gingerpaw didn't have time to catch Crimsonpaw's tail or something to stop her.
"That apprentice is fast!" exclaimed Lynxclaw.
"You don't seem very worried," commented Gingerpaw as she craned her neck and stood on her hind legs to see if she could catch a glimpse of the quickly disappearing Crimsonpaw.
"Oh, she'll come back eventually. She won't be stupid enough to cross any borders, ThunderClan doesn't need more trouble in their paws," Lynxclaw determined. "I'll go tell Sootwhisker. Grab her squirrel, a lean one is better than none."
Gingerpaw obediently stooped and took the squirrel by its scruff in her jaws, and picked up her mouse again, and padded after Lynxclaw. The squirrel wasn't that bad, but it could have been better.
Lynxclaw was already talking to Sootwhisker in an undertone.
"She'll come back, Sootwhisker, stop worrying, you fleabag!"
"Insults won't get you anywhere! She's my apprentice, and she'll get me in trouble if she crosses any borders..."
"We need to go tell Dapplestar, she'll know what to do, or Russetfoot..."
"And while you're all fretting about with the leader and the deputy, I'll be finding my apprentice!"
"Listen, Sootwhisker, we need to organize a proper search party, and if she hasn't come back by then, we'll go out and look for her," Lynxclaw mewed gently. "We need to go back to Dapplestar."
Sootwhisker finally had a replenishing of his senses, and he consented to follow Lynxclaw back to camp.
Gingerpaw trotted obediently behind them once more, wondering what they were going to do about Crimsonpaw. She had the horrible feeling that this was all her fault.
Why? her voice of reason asked her in her head. You didn't do anything, you just said 'nice catch' and Crimsonpaw practically exploded out of her paws...
But you could have just pretended that you were hunting...
You would have still had to turn around and comment...
You could've said something different...
But what? You just said 'good catch"...
Still...you could have caught her as she tried to run away...
Gingerpaw's mind battled with itself for the rest of the walk back to camp, and eventually doubt overcame her.
It really was my fault...
Trying not to cry, she walked into camp and put the mouse and squirrel down dolefully.
"Hey, Gingerpaw!" Her one other sibling bounded over and purred. "How was hunting?" Scarletpaw was always the most excited and bouncy of the three. "And Crimson--"
He broke off, turning around in a state of bewilderment. "Hey, where's Crimsonpaw?"'
Gingerpaw sighed dejectedly. She would have to explain.

After she finished explaining, Scarletpaw was more bewildered than he was to start with.
"B-but...that's not like the Crimsonpaw I know!" he struggled to find some sense in what she had done. "Sure, she's a little clumsy, but..."
"But she left, and it's my fault," Gingerpaw practically wailed.
"What's your fault?" Gingerpaw was slightly relieved yet troubled when her mother, Cloverpelt, arrived on the scene. She was a petite, smaller built she-cat, with bright, sparkling green eyes that were her namesake, and a bright yellow pelt. Her size was a misgiving, for she was lightning fast, and this was probably where Crimsonpaw's speed came from. "If this is about another botched hunting patrol, I'm sure it was just bad luck..."
"Crimsonpaw ran away," Scarletpaw told her flatly.
Cloverpelt was more than astounded as she stopped where she stood, muzzle hanging open.
"Wha--"
"Crimsonpaw was complaining about how clumsy she was, and then Lynxclaw came and told her she'd done a nice job, and she exploded out of her paws and ran away before I could catch her!" Gingerpaw mewed desperately, wondering if her mother would be angry with her.
"Now, Gingerpaw, it's not your fault...she has feelings too, and her feelings just got ahead of her. I'm sure she'll be back by sunset." Cloverpelt seemed to be trying to convince herself and Gingerpaw.
"What's going on? Stop standing there with your muzzle open, Cloverpelt, you'll catch flies," Gingerpaw nearly screamed with frustration as the light and easy tone of her father, Russetfoot, joined the conversation. Russetfoot was a tall and lanky tom with bright red fur, which he had passed down to all three of his kits, and amber eyes. He was also the ThunderClan deputy. "You all look like warriors being demoted to apprenticeship again, what's wrong?" he meowed, looking worriedly between Cloverpelt, Scarletpaw, and Gingerpaw.
Gingerpaw just stalked off, and looked back once, and saw that Scarletpaw and Cloverpelt were explaining what had happened to a flabbergasted Russetfoot.
Gingerpaw looked around, hoping that Sootwhisker and Lynxclaw would be back out.
"Hey, Gingerpaw," another apprentice, Ebonypaw, mewed quietly, padding over to her friend. Ebonypaw had a jet black pelt and creamy grey eyes. She was about the same size and age as Gingerpaw. "I heard about your sister...sorry..."
Gingerpaw knew that more sympathetic well-wishers would come by soon, so she greeted Ebonypaw halfheartedly. "Hey, Ebonypaw," she mewed in return. "I'm just waiting for my mentor to come out with Dapplestar to start a search party, or whatever they want to do..." she sighed. "I'm sort of surprised that Crimsonpaw hasn't come back yet..."
Gingerpaw perked up as pawsteps sounded through the clan's bracken entrance. The midday patrol was coming back!
She watched as Swirlfur, Fernbreeze, Timbermoon, and Ravenpaw padded through the entrance with prey in their jaws. Ebony bounded over to greet her only brother, Ravenpaw, with a lick. "How was hunting?" she purred.
Gingerpaw also padded over, wondering if Ravenpaw had any news of her sister.
Ravenpaw turned bleakly over to Gingerpaw. The male apprentice had a pelt equivalent to that of his sister's, but he had a mottled shade of brown as eyes. "Crimsonpaw was caught by twolegs."
Before Gingerpaw could fully register this, Lynxclaw had come up behind her. "Gingerpaw, come to the leader's den," he meowed. "And Ravenclaw, Ebonypaw, bring the elders some food and clean the ticks off of them, please. Poppynose has been complaining. Gingerpaw, follow me."
Ebonypaw and Ravenpaw groaned, and with a last sympathetic glance at Gingerpaw, they padded off to the freshkill pile to grab some prey.

~~~
So that's it! Chapter 1! What did you think?

Oh, and while I'm here, can you let me know if you think I have too little warriors?
Thanks for reading!

[darkangel]

Chapter 2:
Gingerpaw followed Lynxclaw into the leader's den. Dapplestar was sitting with her yellow tail curled around her paws in her moss bedding, with Russetfoot near her, and Sootwhisker as well. Cloverpelt just padded in after Gingerpaw when Dapplestar spoke.
"Timbermoon has told me that your sister has been captured by twolegs," Dapplestar mewed first. "I know that this was not her doing, but she does need to get her temper in check," Dapplestar continued. The wise ThunderClan leader was known for her sound council. "But even so, this should not have occurred, and we value the lives of all of our members of this clan. So we shall send out a search party. The following cats will be in it: Timbermoon, to show us where the twoleg house is, Russetfoot, Sootwhisker, Cloverpelt, and you, Gingerpaw," she finally acknowledged Gingerpaw's presence with a dip of her muzzle towards the apprentice.
Nevertheless, Gingerpaw's heart sank to her paws. Why wasn't Scarletpaw coming? She opened her muzzle to voice this complaint, when, as if she read Gingerpaw's mind, Dapplestar continued on with her speech, "I know you are wondering why Crimsonpaw's other sibling isn't coming, but he was caught yesterday putting crowfood in Dewpaw's bedding. I know that this punishment is hardly appropriate to be put into action right now, but he needs to learn when to draw the line."
Gingerpaw was furious at this. Dapplestar really didn't have any idea of what the rivalry between Scarletpaw and Dewpaw, the medicine cat's apprentice, was about!
When they were both kits, Scarletkit and Dewkit were friends, but one day Scarletkit accidentally gave Dewkit crowfood to eat by accident, not knowing the difference as a kit. But Dewkit was angry and thought that this was an act of war, and reacted unfairly by putting thorns in Scarletkit's moss bedding.
Their little 'battle' had been going on for a while from then on, but Gingerpaw knew that it would be unwise to argue with Dapplestar.
"Yes, Dapplestar," she mewed, resignedly. "When will we go?"
"Now," was Dapplestar's crisp reply as she ushered them out of her den. "I will announce to the clan, Russetfoot, go get Timbermoon."
Russetfoot dipped his head and padded out, and the rest of the search party followed.
"You guys get some freshkill," Russetfoot decided. "Finish it, and I'll get Timbermoon, and then we can go."
Gingerpaw hadn't really noticed her hunger until then; she had gone since her morning starling without any food!
She raced to the freshkill pile and grabbed a vole and padded off to the side to eat.
"Can I share with you, Gingerpaw?"
Ravenpaw's voice drifted over to her ears, and she perked up. "Ravenpaw?"
Ravenpaw trotted over to her, ears flattened. "Sorry, but I don't really like birds...Ebonypaw makes fun of me every time I point that out to her," he added ruefully.
There was more than enough vole for Gingerpaw. "Sure," she meowed in reply.

After Gingerpaw and Ravenpaw ate, Gingerpaw walked over to join the search party. They set out, Timbermoon and Russetfoot in the lead.
"Now, the twoleg place I saw was along here..." Timbermoon was telling them, padding along the border of ShadowClan. After a while that seemed like an eternity for Gingerpaw, they emerged out of the forest and onto the edge of the lake.
The lake was strangely full during this time of Newleaf, and they kept to the bushes as crowds of Twolegs crowded around the beach.
Gingerpaw knew that most of the twolegs left to go back to their dens by sundown, and only some of them had dens near the lake. Near a halfbridge in the distance, there was a huge, white twoleg nest.
"There it is," Timbermoon mewed. He padded forward along the line of bushes that were littered around the edge of the lake. The rest of the search party followed.
If Gingerpaw hadn't been so preoccupied with the search for Crimsonpaw, she would have sighed over the beauty of the lake. Placid, glass-like water lapped at the small shoreline created by the fresh water. Timbermoon and Russetfoot paused to take a quick drink of water, then continued on. The water was fresh in Gingerpaw's throat and gave her a sense of refreshment.
They arrived at the huge fence surrounding the house.
"Crimsonpaw!" Gingerpaw wailed, beginning to scratch at the fence to find a way in.
"Gingerpaw," hissed Russetfoot. "Don't let them hear you!"
It was too late, though. A whining sound came from inside, followed by a frenzied yapping that could only have come from a dog.
"Fox dung!" snarled Timbermoon angrily. "Your kit woke the dog!"
"Sorry..." Gingerpaw flattened her ears, shrinking away from the enraged Timbermoon.
Cloverpelt crept forward. "I bet all of us could take the dog," she mewed calmly. "It seems to be a rather small one."
Suddenly, two other sounds joined the frenzied yapping. A twoleg's yowling, and a cat's yowling that they can all understand.
"Help! Help! Don't put me out here with the dog!" a cat's voice yowled as loudly as the she-cat's voice could muster.
They had found Crimsonpaw.
"Crimsonpaw!" In her desperation, Cloverpelt forgot to be calm and quiet. "Crimsonpaw!"
"Mother?" squeaked out Crimsonpaw from the other side of the fence, forgetting about the dog.
"Crimsonpaw!" Gingerpaw exclaimed as well, beginning to claw at the fence. "It's you! What is the twoleg doing to you?"
"I don't know...oh, I'm sorry for running away like that!" Crimsonpaw wailed. "I was just tired of people doing that to me, and then this twoleg came out of nowhere and grabbed me!"
"It's okay!" Sootwhisker meowed for the first time during the search party. "We'll get you out of there!"
"I'm not alone, though! There's another cat in here...he hasn't spoken much, but I think his name's Chisel."
"It's okay, we'll be back soon..." Russetfoot mewed. He turned back to the rest of the search party. "How are we going to get inside?" he asked, worried. "There's this wall thing around the entire nest, and it's too high to get across!"
"Well, there must be some way for the twoleg to get in and out," Cloverpelt pointed out, straightening up. "We should find where that is. Maybe it'll lead us to Crimsonpaw."
"Don't leave me here! I'm sorry!"
"No, Crimsonpaw," Gingerpaw leaned forward to speak through the fence. "We're going to try to get you out of here...we'll be right back!"
The other cats were still conversing among themselves on different methods of getting inside the twoleg's nest.
"We could climb a tree, and then jump from there to the fence," offered Sootwhisker, scanning the surrounding trees for a suitable one. "How about that birch tree? It looks sturdy enough, and it looks good enough to jump..."
Russetfoot padded over to get a better look. "No, I think it's too far," he yowled back at them.
Timbermoon stepped forward. "I think Cloverpelt's idea was nice, we should at least check."

[pokesquir]

I love the story man

[pokesquir]

FireClan Cats
LEADER: Redstar
DEPUTY: Tigerclaw
MEDICINE CAT: Spottedleaf

Warriors

Icestorm
Lionheart
Blueheart
Hawkwhisker
Redtail
Whitecloud

Apprentices

Firepaw
Graypaw
Emberpaw

Queens

Leopardfrost
Goldenflower
Snowclaw

Elders

One-Eye
Torn-Ear
Half-Tail

[darkangel]

what are you doing? please post in your own fanfiction thread! thanks.