Hello?

[Magicheart]

Magicheart paced back and forth. "I know you're strong, Inkpaw, but I cannot send you out alone with patrols of Lostclanners out there....and I can't go with you because we need to stay and defend camp. Honeysquirrel's kits are gone, and I would feel so irrepsonsible leaving right after it happened...." she sighed, trying to think of some way they could get news.

[Seraphinu]

Inkpaw hung his head in defeat. His tail lashed in frustration, knowing that his mother's words were accurate.

"You're right, mother. There are too many injured cats here. There aren't enough of us to guard the camp. We can't even get proper patrols to guard the borders..." he said.

"Say, where's Firetail? I haven't seen him all morning..." Inkpaw asked curiously. He had always felt somewhat annoyed by Firetail's carefree nature, and his fondness for she-cats.

[flameh]

Flamestar paced her den. "Starclan I need a sign" she mewed. Her clan was badly injured and Lostclan was out there. She really needed a deputy right now.

[Magicheart]

Firetail limped into camp, his pride injured worse than his badly cut body. Honeysquirrel's kits were gone. He had failed to save them. He had failed to succeed when it really mattered. Who knows what would happen to them now?
The young tom sighed and began to lick the blood and dirt off of his usually snow white pelt, wincing as he did so. How could he ever face Honeysquirrel again? How could she ever love him now? She'd had so many disappointments in her life already...so much loss....

[Seraphinu]

"Firetail!" Inkpaw meowed as he limped into camp, white pelt dirty and blood soaked. He ran over to him. He noticed how defeated he looked, and felt a pang of sympathy for the usually bold and confident cat. Inkpaw knew how much Firetail loved Honeysquirrel, and could only imagine how much he hurt over the loss of her kits, even if they had been Graveheart's and not his.

"You should go see Starpaw..." he said, and was reminded of both the loss of Swiftcloud, the medicine cat, and Hazelpaw, who Starpaw had an unusually strong bond with.

[Magicheart]

Firetail sighed, shaking his head. "I chased them so far...." he groaned. "When I wouldn't give up,...oh, what does it matter now..." he sighed heavily. "Poor Honeysquirrel. I've been so useless to her....she deserves better...so much better...." Firetail fell silent, his eyes downcast.

Magicheart glared at the tom skeptically. "Where is Honeysquirrel? You should be comforting her, or at least I should be if she won't see you." the she-cat frowned.

[flameh]

Flamestar stood up. Still no sign from Starclan. She heard a familar voice in camp, Firetail. She padded out into camp. Her strong confident warrior was dirty and tired. "Welcome back Firetail" she mewed.

[Magicheart]

Firetail lowered his head farther in shame. "I didn't get them back, Flamestar. I'm sorry." He stared at the Thunderclan leader. "I'll find them, that's a promise. I'll bring Honeysquirrel's kits back or die trying."

[Seraphinu]

"We'll all work to get them back, Firetail," Inkpaw stated proudly, though he still felt guilty that he had been the only one to have escaped injury in the fight. Had Ghostflight singled him out?

"You aren't alone in this, you know. The whole Clan will back you," he added. Strange words to be coming from an apprentice. Any other would be confused and afraid. Why was Inkpaw so strangely mature for his young age?

[flameh]

Flamestar smiled. "You go rest" she mewed. "You've done enough for now" she added.

[Magicheart]

Firetail stared at Inkpaw. He didn't like how the young cat seemed to be correcting him, or some how trying to advise him that he was being irrational. What could a young apprentice do to save Honeysquirrel's kits? Especially since his injury? What could such a young cat understand about love?
Firetail sighed and nodded at Flamestar, realizing that his condescending thoughts towards Inkpaw were fueled by his own feelings of disappointment and exaughstion.

[darkflower]

Honeysquirrel sat in the dark shelter of the nursery, yet feeling more expossed than before. Her kits, her young, her life, the highlight of her world were gone, and she might never see them again. Tearing at the moss furiously, she let out a yowl of agony and despair. her cries of suffering echoed around the tightly laced bramble nest, rebounding back at her three times as loud. She cringed at the noise and closed her eyes shut, pushing her face int her paws. She hated herself for letting them take her kits. The wound stung like needles were being poked into it, her eyes blurred and she let out a low whimper. It felt like claws were raking down her sides, and for the moment she wanted them to.
"I couldn't even save them," she whispered into the darkness. "I couldn't protect my own kits, it should have been me, not them. It's my fault." Her voice rose in another yowl of agony. "It should have been me!" Tremors racked her body from nose to tail tip, and she wans't aware of the sound of bushes rustling as a small white figure entered the den.


"No. It isn't your fault, Honeysquirrel. They took the kits, and you did your best to save them. Don't worry, we'll get them back." The small white she cat picked up the herbs she'd set down to speak, and made her way over to the devastated queen, then offered Honeysquirrel three tiny black seeds. Starpaw watched as she sniffed them, then felt suprised as she turned away. "I don't need to sleep," Honeysquirrel muttered. "I need to find my kits." She started to get to her paws, faltered a step, then dropped back down with a light thud.

"you need some rest," Starpaw prodded. "When we find them, I'll wake you up." Honeysquirrel said nothing but swiped her tongue around the black seeds, then sighed and curled up. Her eyes gleamed with tears.

"I miss them. So much." Starpaw flicked her clanmate's ear lightly with her tail.

"I know you do Honeysquirrel, each of us have lost something from the attack. But we will rescue Berrykit, Swirlkit, and Stormkit. I promise we will." Then she backed out and went to Firetail. "Can you please watch Honeysquirrel?" she asked, knowing of the tom's affection for her. "I think she'll need you to comfort her most of all. She's lonely, and soon she'll be asleep but she might try to sneak off and look for them herself, I don't want her getting hurt. Please?"

[Magicheart]

Firetail froze in place as he heard Honeysquirrel's cries, closing his eyes with a pained wincing expression. He felt so incredibly useless. He opened his eyes when he heard his own name, and saw Starpaw staring at him expectantly. His mouth went completely dry at her suggestion. He kept flicking his eyes back and forth between Starpaw and the nursery, unable to think of a reasonable excuse to argue with a medicine cat, even if Starpaw was only an apprentice. He nodded slowly and padded over to the nursery, his limbs feeling numb with anxiety. He peered in to see Honeysquirrel huddled in the corner, her eyes glassy and seemingly unseeing. He could feel his heart screaming as he gazed at her, and though he tried to say her name, not a sound would come out. He swallowed, trying to clear the tightness in his throat. "Honeysquirrel?" he whispered. He padded into the den and pressed his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" he whimpered.

[flameh]

Flamestar heard the queen's cries of despair. "Poor Honeysquirrel" she mewed under her breath. She watched as Firetail disappeared into the nursery. "Starpaw" she mewed. "I want you to treat Firetail's wounds as soon as Honeysquirrel's drifted to sleep" she mewed.

[darkflower]

Starpaw nodded. "yes, Flamestar," she meowed, but was lost in her own thoughts, shrouded in worry. Would she be able to keep her promise to the young queen? it was almost ironic in a way, Rosemoon and her mate had both been taken away from herself and her siblings by Lostclan, and Honeysquirrel's kits had been taken by them as well. Sighing in frustration, she wondered if she could snag a few hours to sleep, then froze, wondering. Creamcloud, her aunt, her mother's sister. After the devastating attacks of Lostclan, was she alright? Worry clawed at her belly and she decided to go sort the herbs she needed for Firetail's wounds.

Honeysquirrel shivered as Firetail came in to the den. He must think I'm a terrible mother, she thought wretchedly. And he'd be right, too. But as he pressed to her and began to whimper, she felt a slight jolt and realized he felt responsible for the loss, as muhc as she. She pulled away and licked his cheek, then pressed into his flank, shivering with inner chills, taking comfort in his warmth.
"It's my fault," she murmured, trembling. She shut her eyes and curled up, drowsy, against him. "I couldn't sve them, I couldn't, my poor kits, it's....all my...faul-" she slowly drifted into a dark sleep, nightmares following her footsteps.